Feelings
Feelings
Feelings are so basic, we overlook the need to learn about them. We begin our lives with innate permission to feel them all, without fear or inhibition. One of the beautiful things we can appreciate about young children is their full expression of every feeling in the moment. As we grow, spoken and unspoken messages about feelings are conveyed to us by the people around us. We are told not to cry, we have to always be happy, we are told it’s bad to be angry. For some of us, anger and fear were expressed in ways that hurt us. It’s no wonder we learn to suppress our feelings, glorify some and are detached from others. Part of our journey in recovery of any kind is to relearn everything there is to know about feelings and establish a healthy relationship with them all. It turns out there's a lot to learn!
Why do we have feelings?
Why is it important to feel them?
The function of each one, what information the feeling has for us and what to do with that information.
How to recognize what we are feeling in our bodies, the body sensations that come along with each one.
To build a vocabulary of feeling words so that we can validate our experiences and communicate our feelings to others.
Emotional regulation, ie.,how to safely feel/manage each feeling so that the feelings help and don’t hurt us and others.
Maybe most importantly, we need to give ourselves permission to reclaim all our feelings and begin to feel them authentically and in the moment, just as we used to when we were children.
In therapy, we spend time unpacking all of the above, reestablishing our right to feel and learning how to do so safely. I like to use the following emotion wheel to get my clients started:
Here are some additional articles on the topic of feelings to begin the learning process:
Why Are Emotions So Important? And How to Address Them (psychcentral.com)
The Emotion Wheel: What It Is and How to Use It (positivepsychology.com)
What are Positive and Negative Emotions and Do We Need Both? (positivepsychology.com)
Please reach out to a therapist here at CIC or a support group if you would like support or more information.
About The Author
Shoshana is a pre-licensed clinician supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT (LMFT 90961). Shoshana works primarily with individual adults. Her experience includes trauma, sex addiction, betrayal trauma, as well as a variety of mental health concerns. Shoshana enjoys exploring new adventures in nature and spending time with family and friends.
