A Therapist’s New Year’s Resolutions for Her Clients
A Therapist’s New Year’s Resolutions for Her Clients
If I had a magic wand and could grant each of my clients three wishes (okay, four wishes), here’s what I would give them. These resolutions are inspired by Virginia Satir’s Meta Goals for therapy.
1. Increased Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is the overall sense of value, worth, or self-respect a person has for themselves. From my perspective, it also includes knowing what you like versus what you don’t like and feeling that it’s okay to be different from others. I want every one of my clients to recognize their inherent worth, regardless of their accomplishments.
While self-esteem and self-care are not the same, they’re often connected. If you feel free to take care of yourself, it’s likely you have healthy self-esteem. For those who struggle to even imagine what valuing themselves might look like, here are some TV characters who exemplify self-awareness and the courage to pursue their needs.
2. Increased Trust in Themselves
Similar to self-esteem, self-trust means having confidence in your ability to think, make decisions, and navigate life’s challenges. It involves making choices without constantly second-guessing yourself. Self-trust doesn’t guarantee you’ll always get it right, but it does mean having compassion for yourself when you get it wrong. It also means accessing your wise, adult self when facing difficult situations.
Here’s a helpful video that can shed light on whether you struggle with trusting yourself. My hope is for every client to feel confident in their ability to make decisions that are good for both themselves and others.
3. Increased Responsibility (Especially for Internal Experiences)
When I say I want my clients to take increased responsibility, I mean understanding what is—and isn’t—their responsibility. Many of my clients fall on one extreme or the other: taking on too much responsibility or too little. Neither is sustainable or healthy in the long term.
A key aspect of this is being honest about your feelings, which involves learning to recognize and identify them. To oversimplify, appropriate responsibility is about honoring yourself, honoring others, and honoring the context of the situation—all at the same time.
Here’s an example of a Personal Bill of Rights and an article on personal responsibilities to help you clarify what’s yours to own.
4. Increased Congruence
Virginia Satir described congruence as a state of alignment and authenticity between your thoughts, emotions, and actions. It’s about expressing yourself honestly and openly in a way that aligns with your values. Congruence can be as simple as being truthful about what you want to eat or as profound as standing firm in your core beliefs.
Historical figures like Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi are celebrated for their unwavering congruence. Their lives demonstrate the power of living authentically and in alignment with deeply held values.
If you find yourself wanting to grow in any or all of these areas, feel free to reach out to our excellent team of therapists. We’re here to support you on your journey.
About The Author
Jorden Groenink, MS, AMFT, APCC an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT136162) and an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC12906), supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT (CA90961). She has been trained in Experiential Therapy and loves working with couples and individuals who want to experience a more fulfilling life. Jorden wholeheartedly believes that every person is worthy of love and relationship. When not working with clients or listening to audiobooks, Jorden enjoys spending time with her family (husband, dog, & cat) and doing DIY projects around her house.
