A Morning Ritual of Connection
A Morning Ritual of Connection
Feeling connected to your partner is essential for a healthy, lasting relationship. But in the chaos of daily life—juggling careers, raising kids, and managing responsibilities—it’s easy to drift apart. The good news is that connection doesn’t have to be time-consuming; it can be built through small, intentional “moments of meeting” throughout the day. The Gottman Institute refers to these as Rituals of Connection—simple, meaningful interactions that strengthen your bond. This five-minute daily rhythm is designed to be a ritual you and your partner can count on to start your day feeling connected.
Ask each other these three questions each morning:
What are you looking forward to today?
This question taps into the fun and playfulness of daily life. It helps cultivate gratitude by encouraging both of you to expect good things to happen each day. It’s also a great way to get on the same page about daily schedules and any exciting plans ahead.
What are you not looking forward to today?
This is a great way to check in and offer support. It gives your partner space to share any stress or challenges on their mind, helping them feel heard and understood. Talking about it together can make tough moments feel a little lighter and remind you both that you’re in it as a team.
How can I help you feel loved today?
This question brings clarity and encourages self-responsibility. Neither you nor your partner are mind readers, so it’s important to communicate your needs. Expressing what makes you feel loved allows your partner to show up for you in ways that truly matter. Love looks different for everyone—here are some simple yet meaningful ways to express it:
Sending a sweet text during the day
Complimenting or expressing appreciation
Telling your partner you’re proud of them
Taking care of a task they’ve been dreading
Making them a meal or a cup of coffee
Running an errand for them
Setting aside uninterrupted time together
Planning a fun date or activity
Simply sitting and talking without distractions
Giving a hug or holding hands
Cuddling on the couch
A gentle touch on the back or shoulder
Bringing home their favorite treat
Leaving a little note for them to find
Surprising them with something thoughtful
Making a habit of asking and answering these questions each morning sets the expectation of connection—no matter how busy life gets. This simple ritual has become a key part of my relationship with my husband, and it continues to strengthen our bond each day.
About The Author
Jorden Groenink, MS, AMFT, APCC an associate marriage and family therapist (AMFT136162) and an Associate Professional Clinical Counselor (APCC12906), supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT (CA90961). She has been trained in Experiential Therapy and loves working with couples and individuals who want to experience a more fulfilling life. Jorden wholeheartedly believes that every person is worthy of love and relationship. When not working with clients or listening to audiobooks, Jorden enjoys spending time with her family (husband, dog, & cat) and doing DIY projects around her house.
