Quitting Porn is Hard
Quitting Porn Is Hard: Why Understanding Your Brain Can Help
Quitting porn is hard. Let’s just be real about that upfront. If you’ve ever tried to stop, you might feel like something keeps pulling you back—like your brain is working against you. And honestly? It kind of is. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. When you understand how porn affects the brain, it’s easier to see why quitting can be so challenging—and why it’s also so worth it.
Let’s talk about dopamine. In Dopamine Nation, Dr. Ana Lembke explains that dopamine isn’t just the “feel-good” chemical—it’s what drives us to seek out rewards. In small doses, it’s a good thing. It’s what makes you feel motivated to eat, connect with others, or pursue meaningful goals. But porn throws this system into overdrive. It’s like your brain finds a cheat code for pleasure and just keeps hitting the button.
When you watch porn, your brain gets hit with an intense flood of dopamine—way more than you’d get from natural experiences like spending time with a loved one or enjoying a good meal. At first, it feels amazing. But over time, your brain starts to adapt. It lowers the number of dopamine receptors to protect itself from overload. This means that the same amount of porn doesn’t feel as exciting anymore, so you need more and more extreme content to get the same rush. Meanwhile, everyday joys—like spending time with your partner, achieving a goal, or just being present—start to feel dull in comparison.
Dr. Lembke describes this as the “pleasure-pain balance.” When we overload our brains with too much pleasure, the brain fights back by tipping the scales toward pain. That’s why quitting porn can feel so miserable at first. You might experience withdrawal symptoms like irritability, sadness, or even physical discomfort. But here’s the good news: your brain is built to heal.
When you take a break from porn, you give your dopamine system a chance to reset. At first, it’s tough—you’re battling cravings and that urge to go back to the old patterns. But over time, you start to notice changes. The little things—like a conversation with a friend, going for a walk, or accomplishing a task—start to feel rewarding again. Your brain learns to find pleasure in the real world, and that’s where the magic happens.
So why quit porn? Because it can help you reconnect—with yourself, your values, and the people you care about. It can bring more balance to your life and make room for authentic joy. And because, deep down, you know you’re capable of more than the cycle porn keeps you stuck in.
I know this road isn’t easy—I’ve been there. But you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’re just a person, like me, trying to find a better way. Keep going. You’ve got this, and even though it may be difficult right now to believe this - the rewards on the other side are worth it.
About the Author
Spencer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (CALMFT141641) and Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist Candidate supervised by Jeremy Mast, MS, MDiv, LMFT (CA90961) at the Center for Integrative Change. He has focused his career on helping individuals and couples break free and heal from unwanted sexual behaviors. Spencer is motivated by the hope and restoration he has found in his own journey toward healing. When he is not helping others in, or producing content about this field, he enjoys running, traveling, and discovering local eateries with loved ones.
